I guess it's my turn to ask....

Not sure if I deserve it or not because I have been neglecting this forum for a while but......... here goes....deep breath!
About 10 weeks ago I woke up with a horrendous pain in my right side back. It surely felt like I had broken a rib or something. However, knowing full well that there is nothing that can be done for broken ribs and time is the best healer, I did nothing about it. Grimaced here and there, took pain killers, got on with the jobs at hand - which have been lots, believe me!
I have had a bad nagging cough for a few months and I thought that I had coughed too hard and hurt myself - this seemed logical to me.
Anyhow, as the weeks have gone on I have felt more and more poorly. I blamed hayfever, knowing the season is bad at present...plus I can feel it in my sinuses, so back to the pain killers - antihistamines don't seem to do anything but good old paracetamol is a life saver - or has been for me.
A couple of days ago I started getting the palpatations or "flutters" in my heart again but nothing bad, doc gave me pills for it. Last night I lost my temper with the cat (she was meowing round my bed while I was trying to sleep) I got up and picked her up and yelled at her like she was a naughty child then put her outside so she was out of my face! Grrr I was mad at her. This was because there wasn't the correct food in her bowl that she felt like at the time - fussy wench! She had biscuits - "give me chicken" she cries!
Anyhow I went into an almost full blown SVT attack so I came to realise that losing my cool and exerting ( ? forgot how to spell) myself is not a good thing.
The attack panned out in a few minutes as soon as I calmed down so that was good BUT I decided that I think it's time I saw the doc for this, so I went today.

Told her about the pain, which I thought was a rib, told her about the hayfever and stuff and she upped my meds on my heart because she said it shouldn't be happening at all.
She was concerned about the rib and wanted an xray. She said if I have broken one then that means I could have osteo and I will need to go for a bone density test. Anyhow...I rang the hospital when I got home and they said they can fit me in this morning, so off I went. Had them done (cost me $90 which is just the gap!) When they brought out the films I was asked when I was to see my doc again, I said I didn't know as I haven't made another appointment yet. They then asked if my doc was open on the weekend, I said no. So they said I will need to see her Monday. It is very important that I see her at the earliest opportunity. This made me worryed so I asked more questions. Got nothing, Just told that the doc there had seen something on the xray.

From there I had to go clean a couple of units so I did that and came home. Dave asked me how I went and I told him I am not game to look at the xrays, so he did.
No broken ribs at all which is good but there is a white mass on one of my lungs, at least I think it is on my lungs. It is about as big as a plum I would guess and now this worries me more. I think it is a tumor. Which means, if I am correct, more tests to discover whether it is malignant or benign. So this is where you come in....

I am asking if you can please give me a minute or two to ask your guides to help me with this. If it is a tumor then I need for it to be benign - I don't know what's going to happen and I will let you know when I know. If you could just give me that small thought I would be most grateful.

Thank you all

i hope it turns out to be nothing serious, but my thoughts are with you

Sadie of course our thoughts are with you I'm sure you've had an anxious time of it this weekend & hope all goes well when you see the doc tomorrow. Don't hesitate to ask for help or prayers - a lot of us (myself included) haven't been online much of late but doesn't mean we don't think about eachother so take lots of care & let us know how you go.

Oh My Gosh Sadie! Thats awful! What did the actual report of the x-rays say?
Of course we will all be thinking of you and putting out those vibes for you! We all know we are still around (most of us on FB now I think)
I hope that whatever the Doc says it is good news



Thinking of you tomorrow!

love and healing being sent

Things have been moving so fast this week my head is still spinning...but lots more to go before we are out of the woods.
After I wrote my first post, I've had the consult with my GP who informed me that I have a growth on my lung and she needs to refer me to a specialist. It would have been about 30 minutes later that my phone rang and it was the hospital with my appointment for the next day, which was Tuesday.
Went to see the specialist on Tuesday (a woman who I have every faith in) she ordered a lung function test and blood tests and a CT scan for the next day, then gave me another appointment to go and see her again today (friday)
So I had all that done and the prognosis came back today: I have lung cancer and she is pretty sure it is malignant but the good news is that from the CT scan she can see no more tumors, however there are a couple of other things she wants to check on ie: I have fluid around my heart which is a concern......so.....
Next week I have to have a bone scan to determine that the cancer hasn't gone to my bones. A few minutes ago I had a little message in my head to say "it hasn't" I hope it was my spirit guides speaking to me. By the way, I am sure they have been prepping me through this because I seem to know what is happening and most of the results before I get them.
I also have to have an ultrasound on my pelvic area as they have seen some calcification on one of my ovaries...but...I did have some hemmoraging on them when I was 15 so it may be that. I have to have a fine needle biopsy to determine exactly what kind of cancer it is and how they are going to treat it. And I have to have an echocardiogram to find out why I have this fluid around my ticker - this is about the only thing I didn't pre-know about.
Anyway once that is done then I have to go back and see her (on 29th) for our next plan of attack. Mind you I know that she is going to order surgery to remove the tumor and then I will be having chemotherapy to finish the cancer off. Its going to be a long road but I am positive that I will come out at the other end a much better and healthier person.

Hubby and I have decided to sell the house and get out of debt - debt and mortgage is such a hard thing and because I will have to take a lot of time off work we need to be debt free - so the mortgage can go and we will rent for a while until we decide to buy that caravan and do the touring that we want to do...that's now our new plan for the future.
I will keep you all updated.
Thank you for being there

Bren i am abouslutely gutted to read your news , I was soooooooo sure it was nothing (my guides let me down) in fact i am a little emmotional, have a bit of understanding how your feeling (bro).
Thou we have never meant you do you mean a lot to me and my prayers and thoughts are with you constantly.
You stay positive and keep fighting as i know you are a strong person and will muster up all your energy.
I will be sending you both loads of healing as hubby will need the strenghh also to help you through this.

if you ever need to scream ,shout, curse, or just need an outsider to let of steam to i'm here for you .
Take care my friend put youself first for once and fight. Angie

Angie, thank you so much
My daughter went with me yesterday for my results which was just as well because she knew more what the doc was saying than I did - although I think perhaps I was 'switched off' part way through. Dennielle (daughter) as you know is a registered nurse so the doc could speak to her in language she would understand and once we got outside Denn explained it all to me in plain english.
Once we got back to my house I rang Dave at work to let him know and then Denn got on the phone and explained it to him too. Last night he was so quiet, just deep in thought I suppose and I know he was fighting back tears. He would walk past and give me a little tap or a cuddle or something - I know he is worried.
My main worry was how to get through this financially. I know I will be ok health-wise but there is a lot of time to be taken off work and no income coming in from me is going to be very hard for us. Dave was also worried about medical bills but thank God we have Medicare and public hospitals. We don't have private health insurance so I have gone as a public patients. My doc has informed me that there is no more to pay. Everything will be bulk billed and no more gaps. "As is should be" she said. You see when I had the xrays and the scans they cost $162 and $620 respectively because they were done by a private company. Medicare always pay a certain amount towards these things and the patient is left to pay the gap. The gap is the amount the private companies put on top of what the goverment set the price at. Many, many doctors charge a gap. Luckily mine doesn't.
But anyway, we are now going to sell up and get out of debt, move to something a little smaller than what we have now and live debt-free. We will invest what ever we make profit on the house after paying the mortgage out and stuff and then I won't have to go to work anymore. But when I am better I can if I want - God I feel as if I am rambling here LOL.

Anyhow, thank you

Gosh I'm just reading this now and echo mistys words - although have never met you but my thoughts & prayers are with you

Im a bit lost for words at the moment but will be in touch soon. Stay positive - we are all thinking of you

Getting busy now preparing the house for sale. I have been in touch with a lovely lady realtor who can handle the entire process for us. Most times with big agencies you have to have different people for selling and renting. This lady told me she has a lovely property not far away from where we are now, in the same area and it will be ready next week. However we still have to sell up here so she is going to rent it out for 3 months so we can sell this one. Then, if we want it, she will rent it to us once settlement is done here. She wants long term tennants. I already told her that I don't want to be moving very 12 months, I'd like to stay for propbably 10 years or so and that's what she wants as well so it all works in well. We haven't seen the inside of the house yet but it looks nice on the outside and quite modern so I am sure I will like the inside too.

Dave is still a bit hesitant because he thinks it's going to be too much for me but I said I would rather get this done now while I am still well enough to do it. Plus I have had offers from family and friends of as much help as I need so I am sure we will be fine. Once we are done and out of frigging debt once and for all, I can relax probably for the first time in my life. I know I want have to work and once I am well enough I can return to work just to keep busy - I'm looking forward to that, I don't want to be bored at home on my own.

I am looking forward to being able to go away for weekends and planning small, or large holidays with hubby and getting out and enjoying the rest of our lives. Then, when we retire we are planning on buying a caravan and a 4-wheel drive and setting off around the country. No fixed abode, gypsies LOL. And with my cleaning skills I can always pick up work around the place if I want to or need to but I hope not really because I want to enjoy my retirement without working LOL.

So right now I am getting things ready in this house. I cleaned out my oven yesterday and I am going to make sure my kitchen is spotless, then I need to do my bathrooms - these are the places I have been neglecting so I will get them up to scratch. The rest of the house is just general cleaning, dust and tidying where I haven't had time to do much. We have a lot of stuff we will need to offload...furniture etc but I guess that will have to wait until we are ready to move.

I am getting excited now at the prospects, this is something I really want to do now so let's get on with it.

good for you, any clearing out is good for the soul

really not much more to be said, everyone has said it all