Sadie i was very shocked to read your post, you really dont want out of this life.
You are going through a difficult time in your life at present but hey kiddo it's all a learning curb no matter what age we are . From this you will become a stronger person ,just think what you have already been through and how strong you came out of it all.
You are a dear soul and a good person ,
Chin up my friend and think of all the good/happy times you have shared .
Depression is a real bummer but i know your strong enough to get through this and you will. As you have said to me in the past think postive and eventually that blue peroid will lift.
Try this little exercise i was given , write down all the negatives from the past or now ,then write all the postive. which out weighs which .
Then slowly work on the negatives and cross them of as they become positives.
Take care

Well, this is something i have thought about before & i used to think that there were quite a few things i would do differently .... but now i've changed my take on it all .... my answer is .... nope, because all my choices have made me into the person I am today. If something is meant to be, then I reckon i'll end up there eventually - in my own time & in my own way lol! Because if I had done certain things differently, who's to say things would be better or easier? Not to mention, I may not have met certain people at certain times who have had a huge impact on my life & some who continue to have an impact on my life. Nope, I think i'm ok with where things are at. An example i think about .... almost 5 yrs ago i had a car accident (nothing too serious but a nasty dose of whiplash which wouldn't heal) ... this got me referred to a remedial/sports massage therapist which in turn inspired me to get my quals in massage/aromatherapy & got me more in tune with my body plus met some wonderful people. All this because that particular morning i decided at the last second to take a different road to work!! Also made me slow down because I was in overdrive (not in the car lol - the accident wasn't my fault! - my life was overloaded & i needed to take some time out!) Plenty other examples i could use but i think u get the general idea. If I can walk away having learnt a lesson from doing something a certain way (even if it may not be the wisest choice ....) then that's what i focus on (eventually) & move forward from there.

well said GR.
Yes, I think all the things this (or any) life sends us is a learning curve - it is up to us to learn from it or not.